I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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