I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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