somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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