I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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