If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize