Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize