CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize