A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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