you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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