How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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