The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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