We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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