If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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