Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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