Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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