i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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