I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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