you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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