i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That's how pantless uber rides happen
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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