In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
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I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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