I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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