I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize