I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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