Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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