oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
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I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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