Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize