It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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