at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
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Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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