I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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