scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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