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he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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