Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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