i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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