sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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