Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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