I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize