well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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