I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
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you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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