yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize