Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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