he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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