I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize