I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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