I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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