im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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