you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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