Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize