matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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