It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
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thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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