there's paper in my vomit.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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